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12 January an update on this journey called lifeIt's been a while since I've put pen to paper, here in the hall of interconnectivity. There have been several things that have come to pass, however all have become part of the patch-work that is my life's journey. When last we met here I'd just found out that the sands of time were narrowing in the vile for my Mother. Sadly, she has since passed away. Bravely and with a fight of fire that only one could hope to exhibit when met by a like challenge, I would like to add. Ours was an interesting relationship. We had been through years of separation and reunion only to find that in the last few years - if not trust had entered into the picture, understanding of the human imperfection had. Before my Mother's death, I finally experienced the moment I had be yearning for since the age of 10 years. She told me that she loved me very much. And for the first time in my life, I believed her. I felt it as a child who wanted so much to be in her field of vision. I felt it as the young adult who had needed her guidance but was devoid. I felt it as a woman who can meet her eye to eye, emotionally growing through the life journey. Despite all of the things she may have wished to do over - how many times she wanted to make good on the past - she kept moving forward because looking behind keeps you moving in circles. It is with reflection that I realize that my Mother had been teaching me all along. I too choose to move forward, stopping to look backward only in reflection. Hopefully taking the lessons of past along with me. I loved my Mother and I am grateful for her life. xoxoxo 22 July sands of timeI received some unexpected news yesterday. It seems that the sands of time are quickly slipping through the hourglass of my parent. We don't expect to hear such a thing so early in our lives.... It's just too soon.
How does one prepare for this? How does one keep moving in a positive frame of mind? How do you wrap your head around this?
I'm just overwhelmed..... stupidfied..... rendered nearly speachless.
Yet another moment to live and learn by..... or more so learn.
05 July beyond lonely - 02/02/1994knowing that the day is dawning
knowing that your love is calling me
deeply i breathe
knowing that my life is growing
step by step i move towards the end
of lonely
your love is light, i am the dark
there's a flickering in my heart that you've made
and you've moved me
beyond lonely
emptiness will fade away
sun will come to shine another day
we'll find a way
hand in hand we'll be together
that's the way we'll stay forever
forever as one
your love is light, i am the dark
there's a flickering in my heart that you've made
and you've moved me
my love is light, you are the dark
there's a flickering in your heart that i've made
and i've moved you
beyond lonely
26 June chance meetingIt was only a brief thought, a glimmer of hope that made my secret wishes push forth. The point where you were waiting. The point where I was passing. It was a chance that made the meeting. Like a penny thrown over a shoulder, a wish was cast that brought the two of us together. If either had silenced the calling there would not have been the moment. The unexpected. The shock sent - from one soul to the other. A moment everlasting, even if it was by chance.... it's our chance. 14 June my life as a doormatReally go ahead. Walk all over me. Why not even stomp a little and wipe your feet while you are at it. I've grown bristly and worn but I'm still there at the door. Old faithful greeting you on your way. I am there when you are happy. When things and folks brush past me, their laughter lingering in the air. I am there when you are rushed and hurriedly running out to wherever it is you need to be. I am there in the hard times, when you drag your feet and I can sense your fear, worry, denial. Your tears have dropped upon me when you've been low. And when you are angry I have bared the brunt of your objections. I feel a bit ashamed to admit that I'd take anything that you can give me. So stomp a little and wipe your feet if need be. Use me. |
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